Write 31 Days: But All My Friends are Dating/Married

I grew up in a very small, tight-knit community in PA. That being said, most of my friends were dating, engaged, and married by the time they were in their early twenties. In fact, I have very few friends that are single. Let me say: there’s absolutely NOTHING wrong with this. At all. In fact, I’m happy for them, even if sometimes it was really hard to be.

Jealousy is normal. I’d say if you aren’t jealous of your friends in relationships, then you’re lying to yourself, especially if you crave to date someone, fall in love, and get married. This is part of the single-life: the jealousy. 

I’m not saying it’s okay to be jealous, but I am saying it’s normal. Totally 155% normal. Everytime I’d see one of my friends on Facebook change their relationship status to “In a Relationship with” I felt a twinge of that ugly green monster. It just hurts. Like, why does this person get to be happy with their boyfriend/girlfriend when I’m still single? Why is that fair?

The answer: we all have our time. Whether it be you meet the guy you’re going to marry when you’re 16, 26, 36, or 86, we all have our time. 

I spent 24 years of my life waiting for a guy to come into my life. I didn’t know how I’d meet him, where I’d meet him, or exactly what would have to happen in order for us to cross paths. 

I will tell you this: In February of 2018, I told God that I would be okay with being single for the rest of my life. That I would be able to handle it if he felt like I should be an “old maid” and never get married and have a family. And that was hard for me, to resign myself to the fact that maybe God wanted me to be single forever. That maybe, just maybe, there wasn’t a guy out there for me. It was seriously the hardest prayer I’ve ever prayed.

But after I did, I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. I no longer worried about when I’d meet the guy of my dreams, I no longer felt jealous when one of my friends posted a picture of her and her boyfriend/fiance/husband on Facebook. I was free of all that crap that had been on my shoulders for so long.

Less than a month later, I met my now boyfriend, Lance. He literally came out of nowhere – his aunt set us up. (I’ll tell you guys more of this story later). But it happened when I least expected it. 

It will for you, too. Don’t let the weight of finding your man cause you to be carrying around a burden that you shouldn’t be. This is the time of your life when you have your whole life ahead of you. Live each day to the fullest, single or taken. 

  • Isabelle LUssier

    Oh Ashley – same thing happened to me long time ago. I release the fact that I had no boyfriend to God and then I met the man that He intended to be in my life. This man has now been my husband for 20 years. We married in 1998 and dated since 1997. So yes I agree with you – sometimes it will happen when you least expect it and when you have given control to the LORD on this aspect in your life. Blessings on your blossoming relationship!