This is a tough question, but one that I asked myself a few times in my younger teenager/early twenties years. I watched a few of my “friends” go from one relationship to another, a few months here and a few months there, dating a few different guys a year, never really settling down into one real relationship.
I tried reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Josh Harris when I was a teen. I couldn’t get into it, and mostly it’s because I didn’t believe everything that he was saying in the book. I liked some of his points, though, and one that STILL sticks in my brain is from the very beginning of the book.
He is portraying a wedding for a happy couple. The bride is walking down the aisle, but when she gets to the end, there are a bunch of different guys at the front, all saying the have a piece of her heart. These were all guys she dated before she met her fiance, and she gave part of herself to every single one of them.
While this may be a bit extreme, the thought hit home with me. Wow.
Now, do I think that you can’t give your whole heart to the guy you’re going to marry if you’ve dated other guys? Absolutely not. I believe you can love fully even if you’ve dated other guys. I believe that you are 100% capable of giving everything to the person you love.
HOWEVER, I say this so we think about it when we start dating someone. Are we dating this person just so we have a boyfriend, or are we dating them because we could see ourselves marrying them? The point of dating someone is eventually marriage – at least, it should be.
So, if you’re dating someone and you can’t see yourself spending the rest of your life married to them…get out now. Don’t lead them on. Don’t keep dating someone just so you can be “in a relationship”. Don’t just be in a relationship so your friends and family can “like” pictures of the two of you on Facebook and validate you.
Be in a relationship for the right reasons, not the wrong ones. Search your heart. And if you have met the man you’re sure you’re going to marry – love him. Love him deeply.