Dear Teenage Girl Who Has Been Put Down….


You know what I mean…someone told you something that really hurt you. Maybe they said that they hated your clothes, or they thought your hairstyle wasn’t the best, or that you weren’t a good babysitter for their kids, or that you don’t sing very well and need voice lessons. 

All those things above have been told to me over the years. There have been many times that people have said things to me and I’ve never forgotten them.

People say things and we have no way to retort so we just take them and think them over for years and years wondering why those people said what they did.

They hurt us, and yet they probably forget and have no idea that they did such a terrible number on us – emotionally. They tear us down in a way that we’re not used to, and we feel like we’re less than what we are.

We feel worthless.

And feeling worthless is the worst thing in the world. 


What I tend to do – and I’m sure I cannot be the only one – is over think what the person said to me. 

Was what they said to me true? Did they say it ’cause they were mad? Did they say it ’cause they were jealous? Did they say it just to spite me?

The thing is, most of the time, people say it to make them feel better about themselves by tearing you down. They think that by making you sad, or mad, it will make them feel better about their current situation.

And while it may make them feel better for the time being – it sure isn’t going to stick long, and then they’ll tear down the next person that comes along the line. 

But girls…here’s the deal:

Don’t listen to them. They are obviously not worth your time and energy if all they want to do is make you feel worse about yourself.

I know what you’re thinking: “Oh, I already know all that stuff, but how am I supposed to get over the hurt of feeling their words?” 

Well, that’s the hard part, I’m not going to lie. Despite the fact that we know that they just said those words to make themselves feel better and us feel worse, they still hurt and we still take them personally.

My advice?

Know that you are worth more than gold and that God loves you enough to know the number of hairs on your head.

Remember that one person’s opinion is not enough to make it true. Just because that one person said one thing about you doesn’t mean that it’s the truth and so therefore you should let it wash off your back.

Surround yourself by those who will build you up, not tear you down. There are times people may have to tell you something with constructive criticism, but that will be done in love and you will know the difference.

Get rid of those people who tell you you’re not worth it.

And remember God says you’re worth dying for. 



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  • Michelle Fotiades Eichhorn

    Ashley, thank you for sharing such wise words. I know young women in their 20s 30s and 40s who suffer self image issues because the hurtful words got in and were never let go.

  • Great advice and a great post, Ashley. Thanks for sharing this — I’m going to share it with my now 13 year old daughter Sophie!

    • Thanks for the kind words, Mike! 🙂 I write these for teen girls, but also for myself. It’s therapy.

  • Missy Smith

    Thanks, Ashley! This is awesome!

  • That’s really good! Thanks for posting 🙂